


TABOO

by nightxshade



Series: VICTIMS OF LOVE [3]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, M/M, Matchmaking, Mutual Pining, No Astrals, Pining, Pre-Relationship, Sex Toys, Slice of Life, Uncle Ardyn Izunia, no magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-13 01:07:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18021926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightxshade/pseuds/nightxshade
Summary: ‘Oh, what did you get?’ Prompto asked, (face still full of frozen peas), as soon as Noctis stepped into the living room.‘I have no idea. Could be a bomb…’‘What?!’ Prompt shrieked, legs and frozen bundle clutched to his chest on the couch.‘Chill. Just kidding,’ Noctis assured. He really hoped it was not a bomb. This delivery guy seemed to be a nervous wreck for no reason. Then he noticed a small, white note among the ribbons and snatched it up. Noct let out a weary sigh.‘It’s from my uncle…’ he said, skimming Ardyn’s ornately unreadable scribbles. Bad handwriting seemed to run in the family…a.k.a the one where Ardyn still continues to be a matchmaking nightmare, (even from afar), Prompto just wants to chill with his bro and Noctis finds that being in denial is his new #lifegoals.a.k.a the modern!AU where the Lucis Caelums own the most profitable company on Eos, Regis is an overworked CEO, Ardyn his very annoying fashion designer of a half-brother, Noctis just wants to sleep and hang out with Prompto and all the bodyguards are just bloody done with everything.





	TABOO

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to yet another chapter in this modern!AU (which, by the way, is getting out of hand, because I want **everyone** to be happy)!
> 
> This one is set barely two weeks after _the photoshoot_ , so you might want to read [DRESS](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17867927) before you read this. (=ↀωↀ=) Go. Read all my shit.
> 
> Huge thanks to [amiyade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amiyade/pseuds/amiyade) for the beta-reading (as per usual XD) and big sloppy, embarrassing kisses to my sis, [timothy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/timothy) for letting me use her internet in these dire times.
> 
> Obligatory Buck-Tick song can be listened to here: [TABOO](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKLNEsquT7Q) or you know, spotify or itunes or whatever you prefer... XD
> 
> Onwards! Have fun!  
> ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

The theme-tune of Hesitant Evil 5 rang through the apartment as Noctis started up his consol. Prompto groaned, flopping back on the couch he commandeered for himself for the night. And the afternoon also, as it was just past three o’clock.

Noct’s humongous couch seemed to be positioned in a perfect way to catch all the afternoon sun. It was hard _not_ to laze about on it on any given day, but today the rays shone just right and Prompto had no intention of moving. Until tomorrow morning that is, when he would _have_ to, or say bye-bye to his newest side job.

Hmm, Ignis must have washed the cushions, he thought, as he tried to suffocate himself with one as the eerie sounds of the video game menu filled the air. Anything but that game…

 

‘Dudeee, do you have to? Right now?’

‘Oh, come on! There are only like two levels left! I need to finish this so I can be free and dedicate the rest of my afternoon to you,’ Noctis countered with a grin. What he really needed though was somebody there with him in the room. Not that it made this hell-hole of a game less scary, but laughing at Prompto’s shrieks somehow always lightened Noctis’ mood. Maybe this way he won’t piss himself. Not that he would tell his best friend any of this.

‘You can choose the next game, alright?’ he offered, sitting down on the floor, back to the couch.

‘Ugh, fine. My love for you knows no bounds, dude.’ Prompto sat up behind him, and with a quick but reassuring squeeze to Noct’s shoulders, he cheered: ‘Let’s do this!’

Noctis only nodded, not trusting his voice. He could feel his heart beat in his throat, he was sure there would be nothing audible coming out, even if he was to open his mouth. He really should get this under control. There was nothing to a friendly shoulder squeeze now was there? Or to Prompto saying things like “love”. He gulped and pressed start.

Thirty minutes and what felt like one jillion deaths later they finally reached the next floor. It was void; no furniture, no enemies, only the crumbling pillars holding up the ceiling. And shadows; creepy shadows everywhere. None of these were as unnerving as the complete silence this level brought with it, only the protagonist’s footsteps echoing along the way, weaving together with the occasional gulps from the boys.

Prompto leaned forward, hands yet again on Noctis’ shoulders, digging in more and more as Noctis moved his character further and further into the darkness of the room. Both boys waited with bated breath for the inevitable Evil to jump on them. Or for a horde of zombies to chew off their faces, or something equally scary; you never knew with these games.

Noctis pressed on and found nothing but empty space. And then–!!

The loud shrill of the bell cut through the quiet. The controller landed on its button-y side on the carpet with a soft thud. Noctis jumped, butting his head into poor Prompto’s face. Prompto shrieked.

Then Noctis joined in, as the digital evil they have been waiting for jumped at the protagonist with a blood-curdling scream and murdered said protagonist in the blink of an eye.

‘Shit, shit, shit, are you alright?’ Noct asked, prying Prompto’s fingers away from his tomato-red face. Prompto was quick to cover it with his other hand, as soon as Noctis had his right in his grasp.

‘…yes…’ he muttered into his palm. There was another ring. ‘Aren’t you goin’ to get that?’

‘Oh, shit– just wait here a second!’

Noctis ran to the door, and buzzed in whoever just stammered ‘De-delivery!’ into the intercom. It did not register as weird in his panicking mind; letting in a delivery man when he did not order anything. He was too busy scrambling over to the fridge. He pulled a bag of peas out of the freezer and ran back to the couch, evil’s food in one hand, dishtowel in the other.

He bundled the bag of peas into the towel and gingerly pushed it to Prompto’s nose.

‘I’m so sorry,’ Noctis muttered. Prompto only groaned in answer, pushing the cold package a bit more firmly to his face. Their faces were so close; Noct lingering inches away, as if that could somehow undo this mishap. He wondered, as he stared at Prompto with anguish, if that redness in his cheeks was all from the hit, or if it was by any chance some actual blushing mixed in. Completely inappropriate line of thinking, Noctis decided.

Thank the gods, there was a knock on the door.

Noctis trudged over and opened it to a nervous looking young man.

‘Package for…Noctis Lucis Caelum?’ he read from a clipboard.

‘That’s me, but I did not order any–‘

‘Sign here please!’ he said and pushed the clipboard in front of Noctis. The pen slipped from his hand two times before he could push it into the recipient’s awaiting fingers. Noct scribbled something that, if you ask a hieroglyph expert, could be identified as his signature, but only if the stars were in the right alignment and you turned the paper 73 degrees counter-clockwise.

‘Ha– have a nice day,’ the man stammered and hurried off, leaving a frowning Noctis at the doorstep with the weird package. No sender, no address, only plain purple wrapping with an even deeper purple bow on top. Quite inconspicuous, and yet somehow deeply unsettling. Not many people knew where he lived. His family, obviously, Ignis and Gladio…Prompto, naturally…

‘Oh, what did you get?’ Prompto asked, (face still full of frozen peas), as soon as Noctis stepped into the living room.

‘I have no idea. Could be a bomb…’

‘What?!’ Prompt shrieked, legs and frozen bundle clutched to his chest on the couch.

‘Chill. Just kidding,’ Noctis assured. He really hoped it was not a bomb. This delivery guy seemed to be a nervous wreck for no reason. Then he noticed a small, white note among the ribbons and snatched it up. Noct let out a weary sigh.

‘It’s from my uncle…’ he said, skimming Ardyn’s ornately unreadable scribbles. Bad handwriting seemed to run in the family…

It read:

“ _Dear Nephew, although you so politely declined my offer, I could not help, but get you a little something for all that selfless help you provided on that lovely photoshoot_.”

Ugh, how his uncle could be _this_ sarcastic through a stupid note, Noct did not know, but he could hear his smug voice in his head now.

It continued:

“ _I hope this little care package will prove useful. (As soon as you grow a pair of balls, of course.) Give my love to Prompto, will you?_

_Ardyn Lucis Caelum_

_XOXO_ ”

Noctis sighed at the pretentiousness of the signo and tucked the note into his pocket; as far from Prompto as possible. The note did not help deciphering the content of the box, but Noctis would bet his apartment, that it was something embarrassing. Like really embarrassing. Maybe he should just put it under his bed or something and wait for Prompto to leave before checking it.

‘Aren’t you going to open it? Come on Noct, this is so exciting!’

No, it was not. It was dread worthy and stressful. Noctis would rather fling himself off of his balcony, then open his uncle’s gift right in front of Prompto, but one look at those sparkling, curious eyes and he was already flinging the ribbon off to the side. He tore the paper away, lifted the lid and– then he wished he didn’t.

Noctis was speechless. All the blood went for a roller coaster ride in his body, draining from his face, plummeting to the floor, along with his heart probably, shooting back up into his cheeks with the force of a rocket. Prompto landed beside him on the carpet and squealed ‘Duuuude, what the–!?’

Noctis could not articulate a response. He himself had no idea “ _what the–_ ” his uncle was thinking sending him a MILLION condoms. And six different bottles of lube. And –Shiva’s icy tits- was that a dildo? Noctis had enough, so he sat back without a word, as far from the box as possible, face blazing with embarrassment.

Prompto rummaged around in it, snickering.

‘There are like…a hundred condoms here, dude! Ribbed, lubricated,’ he squinted at another box and casually tossed it to the side. ‘I don’t even know what this word means…’ he took out a few clear cases. ‘Dildo, dildo, vibrator… Bullet? I don’t think this is the kinda bullet that _I’m_ thinking of– Ifrit’s balls, I don’t even know what some of these are…! Your uncle is…something…’ Prompto concluded, lying back against the sofa.

‘You don’t know half of it…’ Noctis said, flipping down onto the carpet, turning on his side, away from Prompto. He knew he should not have opened that stupid box. He just hoped to all the gods that Prompto would lay off the topic pretty quick.

‘But why did he send these to you? Does he think you are getting this much action?’ his treacherous best friend asked and Noctis could hear the grin in his voice. Prompto knew very well, that Noctis was definitely not getting _any_.

‘I don’t know,’ grumbled Noctis, absolutely done with everything. Maybe he should just get up and dump it all into the bin. Stupid uncle and his stupid meddling…

‘Oh, okay…well, maybe he just wants to…inspire you to go out and find somebody?’

‘Inspire?’

‘Well, you know, in his creepy, pervy ways…’

Noctis snorted.

‘No, thanks. I’m fine by myself.’

‘You make me sad, bro– I mean, you make the world sad! All your potential future wives and or husbands; not me!’ he hurried to correct with a titter. Noct only hummed in answer.

Silence came over the room; Noctis continued to turn his back on the two things he did not have the energy to face right now (or at all); that infernal box and any feelings he might or might not have for the oblivious blonde. No; he was fine like this.

‘You should take it,’ he said after a good while.

‘Wha–?’

‘The box, you should take it. You have better chances at using any of its content than me anyways…’ Noct offered, dejectedly. He hoped it sounded like the usual apathy he could not shake and not like his heart was breaking. Noctis sighed. That right there was over the top, Ardyn-levels of dramatic. Maybe he should not be around his uncle for a bit…

‘Dude, are you sure?’

Noctis hummed again and pushed himself off the carpet. It was time to wrap this up, order some disgusting take away food and play some video games. Shepherd this evening back into the usual flow of things and put his uncle’s awkward matchmaking behind himself. Or even better, out into the foyer.

‘I’m gonna leave this by your shoes,’ he said righting the gift box and hauling it back the way it came. Noct wished he could just write a note for Ardyn saying: “ _shove your gift up your arse_ ”, and send this whole nasty pack right back. But giving it to Prompto will have to suffice. At least it won’t be in _his_ flat, reminding him of his own shortcomings. He absolutely refused to think about the possibilities of Prompto using anything from that box. No way, no how.

‘What do you wanna eat?’ he asked, plopping down on the couch, phone at the ready.

‘Chicken? Noodles? Chicken-noodles!’

Noct tried to eye his best friend with the most deadpan expression he could pull off, but his lips turned upwards pretty quick at the goofy blonde.

‘There is no such thing as “chicken-noodles” …’

‘Yeah, there is! We just order some chicken and then some noodles and bamm! Chicken noodles!’ Prompto imitated the epic explosion that culinary invention would be with his hands going all around the place.

‘You are a chicken-noodle…’ Noct informed him with a smirk. ‘I should just order you a chocobo cutlet and watch you eat it…’

Prompto gasped and Noct got a face full of cushion.

‘How dare you, bro! Don’t talk to me or my chocobo sons ever again,’ he said, mock-insulted tone turning into a laugh. ‘Okay, how about that Galahdian place? With the skewers and those thingies that are _not_ rice…?’

Noctis’ mouth started to water before Prompto could even finish saying “Galahd”.

‘I’m already ordering it!’ Noct enthused. Prompto punched the air in his joy. ‘And a chocobo cutlet…’

He never saw the couch cushion come his way.

The night found them on the sofa, in-between half empty food containers and soda cans. Prompto got lost in some RPG that Noctis totally did _not_ download solely because his best friend loved it.

Noct tried to read some school papers, which he gave up on after a minute; then he tried to randomly scroll through social media, but that bored him to tears almost as much as his school paper did. So he pulled up an article about some fish they observed out in the Daurell Caverns. How anything could even stay alive out there was anyone’s guess, so Noctis hoped this is gonna be good. Some juicy story about some mutant fish to keep him occupied while Prompto ‘Oooh!’-ed and ‘Aaah!’-ed beside him on the couch.

Scientists discussed if there could be any correlation in the water toxicity levels rising, the actual water levels of the underground ponds falling and the Bizarre Barramundi’s ( _Cyprinus insolens_ ) apparently new-fangled ability to crawl on its fins. Not like it needed anymore creepy characteristics…

Noct imagined how cool it would be; travel down to the Schier Heights with the guys, go down to the caverns and catch a few of those horror inducing fishes. What a trophy that would be! Thoughts of actually driving down all the way and camping, (because Gladio _would_ want to camp, that’s a given) and all the weird Duscaean fauna made him re-evaluate. Noctis was keen on sleeping on the floor, as much as he was keen on fighting off stupid bugs: _not_ at all.

Fuck those fishes, he thought, I will just go down to Galdin…

He buried himself deeper into the cushions, shoulders pressing up against Prompto’s in the process. That was perfectly normal, right? This was not the first time they have been sitting on this couch, some accidental touching was okay, nothing suspicious about that, right?

Just play it cool, he told himself; no need to let Ardyn’s shenanigans get to his head. Staying aloof should not be a problem. That’s what most people thought of him being anyway…

‘Ahm, Noct…?’

Oh, Gods, it _was_ too much! Noctis you idiot, keep your distance, he panicked internally. Now Prompto is going to call him out and it will be awkward again and–!

‘Yeah?’

‘Is there any news maybe…about that photoshoot…?’ he muttered, eyes glued to the tv, fingers clicking away at the controller. Noct looked up from his phone, sighing internally. He really should stop overreacting…Everything was fine, Prompto was none the wiser and his uncle’s scheming did not get between them.

‘No, why?’

‘Nothing …I was curious, I guess. I never had my photos taken like that, I would have loved to see how they turned out,’ he sighed. ‘But maybe it was all just a joke, I don’t know…’

Noct turned at that to have a better look at Prompto’s profile. He looked…sad? No, that was not it. Disappointed might be a better word. If that was because of an urge to see the outcome of his work, or because of the prospect of being made fun of, even though he tried his best, Noct could not say. But knowing Prompto as he did, he was pretty sure it was the latter.

‘Hey, my uncle is sure one hell of a weirdo, but he takes his job like a thousand percent seriously. But he can get side-tracked like that,’ Noct said, snapping his fingers. ‘Once, when I was talking to him on the phone, he told me to hold it for a second. I’ve held it for thirty minutes, because he _forgot_ I was on the line.’

‘Duuude, seriously?’ Prompto chortled, pausing the game and facing Noctis. ‘Why did you not hang up or something?’

‘I wanted to see if he would pick it back up. Also, it was an interesting insight. I never knew he sang, when no one was around to hear it.’

‘Wow, your uncle is…truly an artist…’

‘You can say that again,’ Noct snorted. ‘So, I wouldn’t worry if I were you. And um, I think you looked– you looked like, really good in those clothes.’

‘Bro, are you joking?’

‘No? Why would I be joking? If I did not know better, I would have thought that you were an actual model or something.’

‘Duuude!’ Prompto shoved him playfully.

‘No, seriously. You kept up with my uncle pretty well. Gil said you were doing an amazing job.’

‘What?! He did?’ Prompto meeped, a flush creeping up his cheeks.

‘Yeah. Seems like you made a good impression on not one, but two of my family members.’ At Prompto’s very confused expression, he elaborated. ‘Well, technically, Gil’s not my relative, but…he has been around long enough, and let’s be honest, he won’t be going anywhere.’

Prompto just continued to look at him with that same puzzled face. Noct pinched the bridge of his nose. How should he put this delicately…?

‘My uncle is…uhm… the “’til death do us part” kinda guy. He tends to cling to the people he lets in close.’ The part where he was like 98% sure, that his uncle was head over heels in love with his bodyguard, well, he left that part out. Not like Ardyn himself got to the point of realising that…

‘Wow, that’s…intense…’

‘Yeah, it seems to run in the family…’ Noctis mumbled.

‘What?’

‘Nothing! How is the game?’

‘Sweet Astrals, dude! You won’t believe this, there was this knight–!’

And so Noctis listened to Prompto animatedly recount the tales of Sir Cecil, head slowly falling onto his friend’s shoulder as he drifted off to sleep.

 

Noct stormed into Ardyn’s atelier later the next afternoon. He wanted to give him a piece of his mind anyway about the “gift” he sent, but now that he has seen that billboard…? He really needed to have a word with his uncle. Even under the threat of Ignis ripping him a new one, for skipping another lecture.

‘Uncle!’ Noct barked, stomping his way over the huge desk Ardyn was standing behind. Photographs littered every inch of the shiny white surface.

‘Ah, nephew, good thing you are here! I need your help.’

‘No, what you _need_ is to stop meddling with my life.’

‘What ever do you mean?’

‘That- that gift box!’ Noctis spat.

‘Oh, did you like it? It’s from my favourite shop. They usually don’t do deliveries, especially not like this, but they made an exception for dear old me. I leave enough money there, that they could open up a second shop, so maybe that’s the least they could do…’

Noctis gaped at his uncle.

‘I don’t wanna know! And no, I did not like it! Gods, Prompto was there when I opened it! Do you know how embarrassing it was? Like, do you want to kill me with humi–’

‘Oh, was he now? Did _he_ like it?’

‘NO! I mean, I don’t know? Anyways, I gave the box to him, maybe he can make use of it…’

‘Aww, you should have tried something together! At least the condoms, if you are not up for anything more adventurous yet…’

Noctis buried his face in his hands and steadied himself with a deep breath.

‘Uncle…there is nothing going on! Prompto is my best friend, so please stop– insinuating things. And please stop sending me stuff from– from sex shops,’ he mumbled, blood creeping up his cheeks.

‘What a pity, you two would look cute together.’ Ardyn paused. Noctis wished to be struck down by lightning then and there. He did not need his brain illustrating how cute Prompto and he would be looking together. He did not need a repeat of last night’s mental merry-go-round either. And what he really-really did not need was his perverted uncle talking about them like that.

‘Anyway, would you mind giving me his phone number?’

‘What?!’

‘The number on which he ca–‘

‘Uncle, I know what a phone number is, _why_ do you want it?’

‘Marvellous question!’ Ardyn rejoiced, coming around the table. ‘You see, the last photoshoot inspired me immensely. So, while my team worked on the campaign, I started to design a whole new line! Have you seen the posters by the way?’

‘…yes. They looked…good.’ Noct blushed. Ardyn grinned.

‘Yes, I thought so myself. I shall ask how Prompto liked them. Now, if you could…’ Ardyn prompted, waving his mobile in front of his nephew’s face. Noct obliged, grumbling something under his breath as he found the correct contact. He thought of giving his uncle some fake number, but what would be the point.

Ardyn typed in the number and pocketed his Libraphone, smiling as if he just won the lottery.

‘Now, before you leave,’ he said, clapping his hands and pushed his baffled nephew over to the table. ‘I would like your opinion on something. I am planning on asking your little friend to model for me yet again. I don’t think we exploited all that blonde innocence of his.’

Noctis scrunched up his nose in disgust. He did not want for Prompto to be anywhere near people who would exploit him, but he also knew his uncle did not mean it in a literal sense. Still, he would have loved if Ardyn stopped talking about his best friend’s innocence…or just Prompto in general.

‘Apropos, blonde; is he a Niff? Tenebraean?’

‘He is Lucian.’

‘Well, yes, he obviously is _now_ , but I meant–‘

‘I know what you meant,’ Noct interrupted, yet he did not say more.

‘A touchy subject, I see. Well, never mind then!’ Ardyn pulled Noctis closer to the photos. ‘I want to elaborate on that dark versus light theme and I want Prompto to be the shining sun in that collection! Or moon, I’m not quite sure about the colour choices yet…’

‘Uncle, could you _please_ get to the point?’ Noct groaned.

‘Ah, of course. Since I would not want to inconvenience my favourite nephew with another _embarrassing_ situation where he might need to get touchy-feely with his _best friend_ ,’ he grinned at Noctis at that, ‘I need to find a replacement. Which model do you think would be the perfect “night” to Prompto’s “light”?’ he asked, holding out two photographs.

Noctis looked at the pictures as if they were his personal enemies. He would not say that the guys on the photos were the spitting image of him, but they looked preeetty similar.

‘These two are the finalists, but I just cannot make up my mind. Who do you think would look best draped around Prompto?’

Noctis’ brain (un)helpfully came up with images he very much did not want to see. He also did not want that weird feeling in his chest, what the thought of Prompto getting felt up by any of those guys elicited in him. It made it hard to breath.

Nobody should be “draped around Prompto”, photoshoot or not…Well, maybe Noctis should, but he would not touch that thought with a ten feet pole.

‘Or should I hire them both? That might be a lovely concept,’ Ardyn mused. Noctis wanted to punch his lecherous face.

‘Pff, good luck with that uncle.’

‘I would not need luck, if you would agree to reprise your role, in a more visible capacity this time around. But since you were so weirded out, I have to resort to other means. So, which?’

‘Geez, I don’t know! That one,’ Noct poked at one of the photos, not really looking. He fled the table. ‘I’ll- I’ll be just going now. See you around, uncle.’

‘If you were to change your mind, just give me a call!’ he heard Ardyn shout after him as he stepped out the door. It was too tempting…to have another chance and a valid excuse to be that close to Prom…but he knew he should not. He had crushes before (okay, one single crush, when he was eleven) and that passed. This too will pass. Hopefully.

Noctis groaned.

He was so fucked…

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed! ♥♥♥∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
> 
> Come and hang out with me on [ tumblr](http://nightxshade.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/PearlPugly) or check out my stupid [FFXV little mermaid comic](https://suchbig-muchblue.tumblr.com/)


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